Oh Lawdy

"Oh Lawd, a VAMPIRUH has taken mah blood!!" Says Jaz Parks near the end of book two.

O. Mah. Gawd. C'est fantastique!! Just thayat layast line has made me type with a Southern ACcent. Book twooooo.

 Chien-Lung, a Chinese vamp aspiring to obtain the ultimate draconic form. He has gotten as close as he will with Bergman's latest toy. A biological weapon invented to bind with a soldier's DNA and make him basically invulnerable. Incidentally, to do this, it covers the wearer's skin with reptilian scales. Oh I didn't mention the wearer also grows claws, projectile exploding spikes, a long, crushing tail, and can breath fire. Good going Bergman.

So the team is back together sent to Corpus Christi Festival, Texas.

Cassandra and Bergman are at each other's throats, magic vs. science. Cole has his usual endless supply of bubblegum. Vayl's touchy about Jaz occasionally favoring others before him. Jaz is sleepwalking with her gun. Dangerous much?

Oh, and then there are the Reavers who suck souls from helpless victims. Jaz seems to be the only one who can see their weaknesses, and is therefore #1 on the Reavers' hit list.

Sitcomp..

Well. Now my computer is malfunctioning to the point of doing the techno-equivalent of a marvelous impression of Martina Gedeck in "Mostly Martha." That is, stabbing a raw stake into the table of a rude and snobbish customer, ripping off the table cloth, spilling wine on said customer, throwing her apron at her boss, and storming out of the restaurant, slamming the door behind her(1). Yeah, tough huh?

Anyhoo, I know I invoked the holy words of fo'sho' but I'm afraid I must admit that I did not reach the deadline. And now the Fo'sho' gawds are coming to smite me. I SORRY! Yes, Jaz parks is still being enjoyed. And I'm not even halfway done. Busy week.

So instead, I will talk to you about music. Yes, musica!! So I have landed myself a part in the school production of Much Ado About Nothing... Swing Era version. So I'm slappin' some bass, mon! And cello too for the more somber and the less swing-y parts. Actually have to write a short cello requiem. By Monday.. Right, better get on that. Also, thanks to everyone who made it to Summer Thyme's to hear me play a short (thankfully) opening!

More posts to come soon.

Bye.

(1) - If you haven't seen it, you should. It's great. It was kind of ripped off by the 2007 movie "No Reservations" which pretty much sucked compared to its German counterpart.

Girlinthetinyhat.blogspot.com

I'm starting Jaz Parks Book Two right now, will review it next week fo'sho'...

And everyone, go check out girlinthetinyhat.blogspot.com. There you shall find my literary mentor. She is brilliant. BRILLIANT!! Definitely knows her books. And movies. And everything. And she also has a love of cawfee. And doesn't follow spelling rules or grammar rules until said cawfee is consumed. So read her blog.

She is much more eloquent than I, y'know, no death threats or threatening letters... On the downside, she doesn't curse in Spanish... Well she doesn't curse at all. FINE!! She wins overall.

Kind of a short post... What else to talk about.. ?

Oh yeah, "Sittin' in my office with a plate of grilled bacon, BACON! Call my man Dwight just to see what is shakin'."

SCRANTON (What!) THE ELECTRIC CITY!! SCRANTON (What!) THE ELECTRIC CITY!!

I know I left some out. I apologize. Okay. Done now. Reading. Bye.

I lied...

Okay, I have to write moar personal stuff and get all airy and shallow and frothy again.. *sigh*

Sofia... You are so annoying, you're forcing me to post this just cause to get you to SHUT UP!!! and I'm realllllllly scared of you nao, so yeah... Nice shooting in B-ball. Congratulations, you got two WHOLE lines!!

Mal... I haven't seen you for awhile and forgot how awesome you are. PLEASE keep screaming at the TV. More entertaining than my laptop!

Pibbs... You call me bagel one more time and I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut you out of my life.. for the rest of the month. OUCH!

Hmmmmmm... anyone else?.. Oh yeah, happy birthday Miles. Enjoy being a teenager. May your mood swings and depression spikes be a little more enjoyable than other peoples'.

Bye.

Once Bitten Twice Shy - Jennifer Rardin...and lame apology intro

My apologies for not posting for awhile. I've had some stuff to take care of (movies) and I do have a life (books) and my internet was down (eating dinner)... So, yeah.

Okay. Take your favorite vampire novel(1), and then your favorite CIA/spy/assassin book, mix it with some laugh out loud humor and some awesome, hilarious and occasionally obscure references, square that, subtract 

one, find the square root and then cube it. And then you have this book. Great recipe, got it from ma mawma.

Meet Jasmine Parks, one of the most deadly assassins in the world. Now meet her boca de asno duelo(2). She is brazen, insolent, flip, saucy, and has probably one of the most enjoyable perspectives I've ever read from(3). Not to mention she is seriously hardcore. And parkour... 

*MAJOR DIGRESSION ALERT* Ahh, the Office. Don't you just love Steve Carell? and his rapping skills? "Sittin' in my office with a plate of grilled bacon, BACON!" *MAJOR DIGRESSION OVER* ... but I digress. Where was I? Oh yes, Jaz Parks.

In book one of this series, Jaz and her 200+ year-old vamp boss, Vayl, team up with a technological genius, Bergman, who give is new meaning to the definition of paranoid, and a psychic/seer/mage beauty, Cassandra, to try and save the world from a supernatural beastie which might very well decimate the human race. Y'know, just a casual, run of the mill weekend.

Revelations, snarkastic(4) remarks, New Years resolutions to learn to curse in new languages... all the essential ingredient for a good book. So read it. Or die. Ehhhhh, just read it. It's honestly too much work to track you all down and send vaguely threatening letters. And the stamps! Good gawd the stamp costs alone. Read it.

(1) - If it's Twilight I will kick your butt into next Monday. Mhm, you heard me. Monday.

(2) - Perdone mi frances en espanol

(3) - If you need a translation from weird followrulestheofgrammeridon't, just comment

(4) - If you get that reference, you're kind of awesome. Just so ya know.

Good Omens - Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

Wow.. Just, wow. The wit. The satire. The cynicism. Amazing. It. Causes. Me. To. Speak. In. One. Word. Sentences. Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman are gawds(1). Being a rather sarcastic being myself(2), I enjoyed this hilarious decline to the apocalypse immensely.

An Angel and a Demon, realizing that they both rather like their existence on the current earth, team up to try and circumvent the end of the world. Sister Mary Loquacious, a nun of the Satanic Chattering Order of St. Beryl, switches the cute little tike of the Antichrist for the wrong baby. The Antichrist raises the sunken city of Atlantis from beneath the sea. The Four Horsemen ride Harley's, and a certain Witch Finder, Sergeant Shadwell, is seen on the back of a flying pink scooter, wearing a green helmet and holding on to a possessed, middle-aged woman for dear life.

As you can see, this book has pretty much got it all. From a book entitled The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, foretelling either events leading up to the end of the world, or just the burning of a bean soup in Russia, to a nuclear power plant's fuel source being transformed into a small lemon drop.

Threats are exchanged, points are proven, and nearly everything is described as ineffable.

(1) - See "School" post for use of W's

(2) - Blame my father

Shakespeare

As you can probably tell from my title and subtitle, and URL as well: I'm a Shakespeare addict. It's really very serious. Almost clinical.. untreatable in fact. The brutality of Macbeth, the insanity of Hamlet, the japes and jests of A Midsummer Night's Dream, the quips and banter of Much Ado About Nothing. All are like the air I breathe and the H2O I drink... Sorry, interested in chemistry right now, I'll go more into that later(1). Shakespeare... the glory of the written word was penned by his hand.. And of course by Neil Gaiman/Terry Pratchett... But that, again, is a story for another time(2).

I am currently reading, and re-reading and watching and re-watching several different productions of Hamlet. I am falling in love with Hamlet's soliloquy for which I named this blog. Such a truly fascinating feigned descent into madness and melancholia. So famous and yet so fitting to my own thoughts sometimes. Well all of Hamlet's soliloquies are thought-provoking, distinguishing between insanity and cleverness, or just going with the madness.

That this too too solid flesh would melt, Thaw and resolve itself into a Dew!

Just a heads up, I'll definitely be posting about Shakespeare continuously.

I suppose that's it for now. A short post. Good night.

Oh wait!

(1) H20, NaCL, all those good things. I'm rather fascinated by the molecular chains and formulae. Yes, formulae. Look it up.

(2) Read Good Omens.. Actually, that'll be my next post for tomorrow so just wait till then.